So I have been really stumped on what to write about next, not because I am out of ideas, but because I am not the type of person who is comfortable opening up. I know, why then did I start a blog about my very personal journey right? Well, just because I not comfortable with it, doesn’t mean I can’t grow as a person from letting you all in. Recently I had someone tell me that they read my About Me page and were left wanting more and encouraged me to explore that.
Having cancer as a teen is not something anyone ever imagines themselves going through and I don’t know where to start trying to explain the tornado of emotions you go through. So I will try to break it down through multiple posts.
Do you ever get that instinct that you know something that no one else does, however you just keep your mouth shut? Ya that was me. The second I found a lump on my collarbone, I knew it was serious. Everyone told me things like “Oh don’t worry about it” “It’s probably just some kind of infection”. Well I don’t know what it was, call it instinct or intuition but I knew better. I went ahead and quit my server job I had at 16, not feeling like that was a priority in my life at the moment.
I went through all the motions the next few weeks, doctor appointment after doctor appointment, blood test, ultrasound, and finally a biopsy only to get the call that I indeed have something wrong with me. I had cancer.
This only confirmed what I already knew deep down. Now I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself quite yet but I knew it was cancer.
I am so thankful that I trusted myself and didn’t listen to everyone else. Had I listened to them I would have wasted precious time working instead of with the people that I love for those few weeks before we got the official diagnosis. Instead I had late nights cruising with my sister rocking out in the car, board games with my family, endless hours goofing off with friends and falling in love. I have memories.
Trust your instincts and embrace the moments that you are given.
Every single one of them!